My spiritual awakening healed my own narcissism, but it needed three additional key ingredients.

Photo by Fares Hamouche on Unsplash

This is probably the most vulnerable and honest article I am ever going to write, but here’s the truth: I am a covert narcissist. I first heard about the term narcissism when I was about 24 years old (8 years ago now). I was desperately trying to find answers for why I could never connect with anybody, never felt empathy and didn’t understand anybody’s emotions. I wanted deep relationships with boyfriends and friends, but I was always dumped when people really got to know me. …

And then I realised our relationship was going to fail.

Photo by Andreas Haslinger on Unsplash

It could have been the perfect love story: millionaire guy meets poor backpacker girl, they fall insanely in love, she moves to his country for him and they live happily ever after.

Unfortunately the reality is slightly different. The millionaire comes with a wife and kids and the backpacker girl has commitment issues. Here’s why even after he divorced to be with me, we are both single again.

Happy single

When I met him, I wasn’t looking for a relationship at all. I was a happy traveler living the single, free life and loving it. The year before I had broken up…

Shedding light on ethical non-monogamy in a Latino country

Photo by Deon Black on Unsplash

Being new in polyamory and new in a foreign country is a lot of ‘newness’ to process. Aside from the personal struggles in my poly relationship that I was facing (jealousy, possessiveness, insecurity), I also had to deal with the cultural struggles of having a non-monogamous relationship in Mexico.

I have always been interested in polyamory and the idea of monogamy and a closed marriage just didn’t ‘suit’ me. Whenever I had a boyfriend, I always had the urge to date more people and wouldn’t mind the idea of my partner doing the same. But I had never actually been…

It wasn’t because I didn’t love him anymore.

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Our society is defined by ego. Many of us are addicted to money and power and status. We feel bad when we don’t achieve what we want. We are told we need to work hard and earn our place in the world in order to fit in, need to find the perfect relationship and raise the perfect children, build the perfect career and be the perfect friend. We want everything; growth, money, love, freedom, happiness, connection, safety. Only then can we feel ‘fulfilled’. It’s all about us, to feed our ego. I have also lived my life for the last…

Something I had never felt before coming from a narcissistic family

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I was born into a family with a narcissistic father. From a young age, I learned that showing my emotions was not going to benefit me in my situation.

My dad used his kids to feel better about himself and whenever something was wrong with the things we did he would beat it out of us, either verbally or physically. Crying or showing love was not an option, it only made things worse. So I decided I would never show anyone my feelings and promised myself I would always take care of only myself.

Over the years I developed an…

Here’s 5 things I learned about money, racism and girlfriends

Photo by Tyler Harris on Unsplash

I have always been somebody who doesn’t care about money, living most of my life on a budget. I am a traveler and I usually try to stay away from the money-focused society, preferring to spend my days lazing away in a hammock with other backpackers. When I met my now-boyfriend on Tinder, I thought he would be just like any other random Tinder match. Even when we had our first date, I did not recognise the signs that he could be ultra-rich. …

And now their marriage is better than ever

Photo by Lucas George Wendt on Unsplash

Being part of a polyamorous relationship is new for me and also for the couple that I am dating. My boyfriend and I started off as an affair (I know, red flags for successful ethical non-monogamy), but I soon found out he had no interest in leaving his wife anytime soon, mostly because there are children involved. I told him from the beginning that I would be open to polyamory, as I never felt ‘right’ in a monogamous relationship. He was caught by surprise, because he never considered this to be an actual solution to his desire to date and…

Anna Foga

Trying to be a fearless writer on topics most people don’t want to talk about

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